i'm firty.

I've never turned 30 before, so today is pretty exciting.

I woke up at 5am to a happy birthday text from my mom. I rolled over in bed, smiled and fell back asleep.

6:30, I watch it pour outside. I don't enjoy the smell of jet fuel, or sewage, but that's Greenpoint in the hot wet summer. I get up even though I might be tired later. There's too much to do today. I like the rain, and saying so reminds me of the first boy I fell in love with, who said to me once "I love the rain," and when I pictured this phrase in my mind it was so cheesy, but hearing it was delicate and perfect. Haha, a lot like our relationship, until we started growing up and out of each other.

It was 15 years ago I first fell in love-- half my life. Oh wait, that's a lie; Michael Meyers (real name) in kindergarten was pretty smokin'. I wouldn't have spent $2 of my allowance money on a Bubbalo Bill ice-cream pop for a dog. Only the best for my crushes.

Today I'm going to do one of those cheesy things where I write a letter to myself and open it five years from now. Do I bury it? Give it to someone? I think I should give it to someone I trust and have them give it to me years from now.